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Month: July, 2013

Trying

I get to know this new band and the leader was fighting cancer for a long time, it became a long term and the members love him a lot.
What i don’t know was that he have been standing on stage to sing his lungs out and take every performance his last. I totally salute him with every part of my heartfelt moment when he sang on stage, it moved me. He is so passionate and he doesn’t care about his appearance, how bad be may look when he go through all the therapy etc. If life was this tragic and sudden, some times i’m just too afraid to even look at the world. It have been looking at you always and come back at you again, it never stop revolving even though you said “You’re done with it”, “i don’t think i could do this anymore” or “I gave up” I know it has to go on but for how long. People go and some just left without a proper reasons, why should i let someone in when i knew anything could happen. I never knew how hurting to see people leave, the definition of it can’t explain further. Therefore, i start to live with a proper aspects of life. I start to reflect my life every now and then. Sometimes i felt sick, i tried every strength to carry myself to do my work. The pain would be our gain afterwards. How one grow and the other die. The life and death based.

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Sequence of death

Sometimes i can’t relate on certain things. And the certain things is that people die earlier than expected. I found myself living in a very social and fearful world, it prevents you from creating something. When a loved one passed away, it just struck you as to why someone leave earlier than you do. And the criminal gets away. Death is known as creating a new life, that’s how i think of it but when it comes to reality i can’t think of that term. People grieve over it for years and it became a point that you don’t want to lose anyone or any longer. But people have to go, either they go for good or they go for bad. The part of parcel of a life. Funeral became a very detailed and shivering word. When someone die, you can hear the screams in the mortuary, you hear the chanting words from the monk/priest, you saw the worst emotion of someone else, you hear the closing of casket and you hear crying and words that they want their deceased to hear. All 5 senses are all noticeable, you start to think that i should be the one going. When the door closes, you never seen them again ever. Their presence left an impact on your whole entire life, you want it back but is too late because now they are gone. But scene sometimes changes, what happens if is a murder case. Will the criminal face the full charge and will he/she get the real taste? How is it that sometimes they got the entire courage to kill someone so badly that they don’t think of the consequences. The feeling of killing, the stares you got from the victim, the stain you got in your hand, the last breath you heard and the scene you able to do it alone. How and why?

It got you

A music can reflect someone identity and the feeling of pride. It smooths people mind or either it just come in so easily. Repeating a certain songs can be rather an addiction but it keeps people moving on or either it got people stuck. Listening to music at a different timing could reflect the mood. I chose to listen slow music in the night, it gives you a very undying feeling. Reflects yourself through the music of what you should do and what’s not.
When you decided that this is a good song or this is my favourite song of all. You start to find who’s the artist, where can i get the music and you just loop the music whole day or worst, whole week. You just wouldn’t want to get away from the music because the first moment when you start to play the song, you got caught. You know this song was amazing as you thought it may be. The quality of it reflect so much of the feeling though you just can’t understand the language but you just understand how the singer is singing because she pour all her emotion and experience to it and you just felt it like you never felt it before for a long time. You drop everything down because you just want to sit on a chair, looking out of the window and stare in space. You want to be in your own world, you just don’t want anyone to disturb you or even touches you. All you want was your favourite music to carry you around.
TS:제시카 – 그대라는 한 사람