Impulsive is a word i could describe about myself. I thought of a way that i would like it to be but things were out if hand. I happen to fall for her, and without a doubt yes it just happen. She doesn’t like too public area. And i blew a few weeks ago, i couldn’t understand. And now i knew, she was afraid of being held in public. are we going too fast or am i pushing too fast i’ve been doing the chase and i dont want to be tired of it. People always tell me Giving is always a better feeling than receiving I remember how i told her that maybe im pushing too much and i should give her some space, she said she needed me. From then on, i never stop myself from letting my eyes off her. I keep trying even if i was the one who always say it first or do it first. Every point of my view, i need to let her see and let her moved by me.
When we’re out together after 2wks of not meeting up, i taught to myself is now or never so i make her comfortable. I danced along to the music she played, i laugh like a mad human and i smile without even knowing. I open my hand and she clenched onto mine, leaning onto her because i need warmth. Every bit of distance was as close for anything to happen. Silence sometimes came in, but it was her presence that was beside me and i never felt alone. I will always watch her from the back, it seem beautiful. When she do something embarrassing, indeed it is but is a cute side of her. When she walking funnily in front of me to the seats she want, i just love the view and how she turn back sometimes and smile at me. That was why i said, i love the view. We settled down and how i wish the train was emptied. Before my stop, i like doing surprises but sometimes i suck. Oh well, i gave her the gift and she look surprised as usual. Gave her tight hug and a kiss goodnight on the cheek. I never knew i was that brave to do so, but it was all because i miss her a lot. i remember when i asked her, “did you miss me?” She said, we’re here. And i said “did you?” She said, yes There’s so many signs but she never cross the line to do so. She’s always in the box, i dont even know what she’s thinking and what is in her mind when i do all these things.
She have too many sides of her, i start to feel weird about it. And then when i look up, Cancer have many different sides or personality. So i trust that. She’s different from the first time to now and to the time when we’re out together. 3 sides in total.
I pray to the stars and i clenched my hands together to always have an ‘us’ in me and her. I really hope one day, she will accept me and be bold.
Btw, i need some comment in what i should do. And is a girl and girl relationship, just so you know.